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As many people know from my last post on hypomania, last week I was filmed for a documentary by Andy Fiore. The documentary is about bipolar disorder and I was one of three people interviewed. Michael Schratter of Ride Don’t Hide, an international tour and movement to battle mental illness stigma, was also interviewed.
So, what was filming the documentary like? Well, there was some talking and some acting, but mostly acting like a version of me, a version of me that walks in girl shoes, that is.
I met Andy at the Vancouver Central Library and we enjoyed a latte in the gorgeous, cobblestone courtyard. He’s a bright enough filmmaker to know that being on film requires the energy of caffeine (although truthfully I’d probably had enough already).
Then we began to shoot “b-roll” which is, “supplemental or alternate footage intercut with the main shot in an interview or documentary.” Alternate footage contains scenes of me walking on the stairs, walking across the courtyard, looking at flowers and so on. If you like watching Natasha Tracy walk up stairs, then this documentary is for you.
We then moved into one of the glass meeting rooms of the library where I checked my makeup before shooting, getting loose powder all over the table and floor (sorry janitorial staff). Andy then proceeded to ask me about two hours’ worth of questions. He asked and I answered while attempting to maintain good eye contact with the camera. A wandering gaze is bad in such scenarios.
Somewhere in the middle of the interview I found that all my happy energy from the hypomania had simply vanished. My brain slumped; I can only hope it wasn’t visible on film.
We then finished off with more coffee (thank-you Andy; thank-you caffeine) and a few more b-roll shots with me walking in downtown Vancouver.
Overall I think the shoot was really positive and I hope Andy got everything he needs for his final cut. He’s deep into the editing of another film right now so I won’t be seeing a rough cut of the bipolar documentary for a couple of months.
While it’s nerve-wracking to have someone ask you questions for two hours while looking into the abyss of a camera lens, I will say it’s absolutely worth it. It’s a powerful way to get positive, real information about mental illness out and I’m honoured to be a part of Andy’s work.
PS: Pictures from the shoot are coming.
Natasha Tracy is an award-winning writer, speaker, advocate, and consultant from the Pacific Northwest. She has been living with bipolar disorder for 26 years and has written more than 2000 articles on the subject.
Find more of Natasha’s work in her acclaimed book: "Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar" on Amazon.
Connect with Natasha at the social media links below.
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good morning my friend. i just found ur blog. i read a little bit. just wanted u to know u have a friend in the blogging world who is also driven to communicate her inner anguish as well. i have been working on my blog for about 4 yrs. please look at it if u want. i get esoteric messages all the time…do u???????
soso sosososos sos
please keep my last name secret for now…..i have paranoia issues…..and sorry if some of my videos don’t sync up…..i try to do what i can with puny older computer and operating system…..
I agree with Herb that you take a chance when you put yourself out there for someone else’s media piece. But I commend you, Natasha, for taking advantage of this opportunity to get in front of as many folks as you can on this topic. That would be great if you could get right of refusal, though I wonder how easy it is to do that. As a long-time journalist, while I understand that some writers make innocent mistakes and or knowingly twist, most true professionals are fairly accurate and honest.
On the other side, I have had interviewees often completely change their quotes and try to slant the story to promote themselves or their company in a way where it lost some true honesty and/ or editorial integrity. My work has all been in print and I offer interviewees a chance to read over their quotes. And when it’s a very sensitive subject (like this one) or a technical one, I ask them to review but explain I can only change if something is blatantly wrong or misleading. Makes sense to me to work that way. But some journalists may not do this in part because of the experiences where folks have tried to rewrite clearly subjective material in a way they want to be portrayed.
From my limited “chats” with you, I know you are honest and just want to get a true picture out there. I hope the film turns out to be all that you want. Let us know when it’s out and how we can see it.
Best,
Rachel
Hi Rachel,
I suspect “right of refusal” might be given to big star, but, you know, I’m not one of those ;)
For my part I was just as honest as possible and while I did talk about my book in the works, it’s a tiny portion of the interview which he may or may not use. (He asked about it.)
I’ll write about it once it’s ready, for sure.
– Natasha Tracy
Dear Natasha,
Certainly any information making awareness of these illnesses hopefully will be beneficial but please keep the following in mind especially if one lends their person to someone else for these projects. In all likelihood one often gives up editorial rights and/or draft approval. This means the filmmaker or writer (interviewer) has the ability and control to edit and present you however he/she chooses and that will be the way you will appear.
This reminds me of a discussion I had with Joyce’s psychiatrist. He agreed to an interview with a major national publication. When I read the interview they incorrectly stated his age amongst several other errors in the piece. The message he tried to convey we both agreed did not come across quite as he intended. I pointed out to him next time to get the right of first refusal before publication or at least the right to sign off on a draft. He also participated in a radio commentary show (pro and con) by way of telephone. The commentator maintained control. The doctor was displeased by not being allowed to reply to the other participant’s commentary.
The point being that your YouTube uploads of yourself and your blogging are factually and unadulterated you and not another’s manipulation or conception of you or your thoughts.
Thanks for allowing me to share my thoughts and opinions on the subject of being interviewed for publication in one form or another.
Warmly,
Herb
vnsdepression@gmail.com
http://www.vnstherapy-herb.blogspot.com
Hi Herb,
I understand your point, but I wasn’t (and aren’t) worried about it. This particular film make just released a film on schizophrenia and, believe me, is very sensitive to such issues.
I do not have approval for the film, nor would I expect to have. But he will be showing me a rough cut and I think if I really didn’t like something in it, he would take my concerns into consideration – he’s like that. At least I think so, I suppose you never know.
Thanks for your concern.
– Natasha Tracy
cool!