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Helping someone who is suicidal is daunting. In fact, even for me, someone who works in mental health, helping someone who is suicidal can be tough. That doesn't mean it can't be done, however. If you're here and looking for how to help a suicidal person, you're already doing the right thing. Thank you for caring for another person so much. Read on for tips on how to help someone who is suicidal.
Let's be clear here, any time a person expresses suicidal thoughts, they are suicidal. Suicidality can look like many things, but it's present any time a person is considering death as an option. (If a person is considering major self-harm, not death, I think you can safely put them in this category too.)
A suicidal person might outright say they feel suicidal, or they might say things like:
All of those statements and others should be taken very, very seriously. Because remember, it's not your job to determine how serious the risk of suicide is. That's something a professional needs to do. Any time suicidality is suspected, it should be taken seriously. Period.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has created a hashtag #BeThe1To, as in, be the one to help a person who is suicidal. It outlines fives steps for how to help a person who is suicidal. These steps are supported by suicide prevention research.
(For all the details on how and why the five steps can help, see here.)
The step that I think is missing is this one: Get yourself help.
Helping someone who is suicidal can be very difficult. This means you need help too. Don't hesitate to get your own support once the person who was suicidal is safe. You can call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline to get your own support. You do not have to be suicidal to call them. They have experience in what you just did and they can help you get through any distress you may feel. You may also want to reach out to a therapist, friend, clergy member, or another person you trust.
Finally, remember this: Whatever happens, it isn't your fault or responsibility.
It's great to learn how to help a person who is suicidal. It's an amazing gift to be there for that person. But in the end, we all need to take responsibility for ourselves. If the person who is suicidal does finally die of suicide, it is outside your control. That is the ending none of us want, but it is an ending that can happen. So of course, you should do your best to help, but remember in the end every person must take responsibility for their own actions.
Natasha Tracy is an award-winning writer, speaker, advocate, and consultant from the Pacific Northwest. She has been living with bipolar disorder for 26 years and has written more than 2000 articles on the subject.
Find more of Natasha’s work in her acclaimed book: "Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar" on Amazon.
Connect with Natasha at the social media links below.
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Interesting article I once had a fellow member of a DBSA support group. Prior to the group we belonged to broke up she was very scared of not having someplace to go and talk. She had called me and mentioned somethings I considered odd and quite scary. I found out where she lived(all I had was her cell #) and went there. I was able to get her to go to a counselor. We still get together at least once a month and when covid hit we used Google Duo to chat. I feel my approach was best for me. I could of course have called the police for a welfare check. In recent years this welfare checks ended badly ,police overreact someone gets shot or the show up with a group of police cars and end up embarrassing you in front of your neighbors.